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Mary...”“Is that you, Fred?”“Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.”“What’s it like?”“Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast, off to the golf course, I have sex. I bathe in the sun, then I have sex twice. I have lunch, another romp around the golf course, then sex pretty much all afternoon. After supper, golf course again. Then I have sex until late at night. The next day it starts again.”“Oh, Fred, you surely must be in heaven.”“Not exactly, I’m a rabbit on a golf course in Des Moines, Iowa.”Lexus LS400A woman bought a new Lexus LS 400. She returned it to the dealer the next day, complaining that she couldn’t figure out how the radio worked. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.“Watch this!” he said... “Nelson!”The radio replied, “Ricky or Willie?”“Willie!” he continued, and “On The Road Again” came from the speakers.The woman drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time she’d say, “Beethoven”, she’d get beautiful classical music,. " Oh, you are such an angel Pat, you think of everything," I said as I gotup and gave her a hug.She looked at her watch and had another sip of her coffee as shecontinued talking, "Back to practical issues then. Because of Tony, youwill continue being the maid during the hours he's working, you caninsert your breast forms into your bra and go out shopping in uniform ifyou have to, but after 3.00pm you will change to ladies' pants and aplain top like a ladies' blouse and also wear flat shoes like trainers.Ok so far?"I nodded, then asked, "But how about my permanent makeup?" I could stillsee traces of it though it was more than four weeks since I had it inTheresa's salon." I thought of that too," Pat answered pleased with herself. "Theresa willwork on you today. She will remove your breast forms and then she willwipe clean the remains of makeup; at this stage it is easy to do itbecause it's already fading. Then she will wash and fix your hair in aless feminine manner. It is long enough.
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